As usual Mode is back with crazy Hip Hop sounds and judging from this track list which includes Tuface Idibia, Terry da Rapman, OD, Mo'Cheddah, YQ et al. Album drops in March!!!
1. Will.i.am (Black Eye Peas) intro
2. We at it again
3. So Fly
4. Badman ft A1
5. Black Rap Messiah
6. We Dey vex ft Tuface Idibia
7. My Life
8. Muzik Lives
9. Whut You want ft Mocheddah
10. Rhyme Tight
11. Okokomaiko
12. Thinking about you
13. Tears of Pain ft Ososensi
14. Top Eleven
15. Loke ft YQ & OD
16. Remember
17. Down Ft Blaise ,Kraft & Terry Tha Rapman
18. Tales of The Pots
19. Love jones
20. Taking Comedy Money
21. Soul to Keep
22. Death Blow pt 2
Wow, yea, that was all i had to say for like 7 minutes of nostalgia! It was a perfect team, every member brought something to the table and this is the only video to show this wonderful consortium of talents.
Da Trybe used this video to permanently seal into our thoughts their brand which was quite simple anyways: Artistry. With the supervision of the head Eldee da Don (Yea, I said it Freestyle!) Apart from Trybesmen (Eldee, Freestyle and Kaboom) Da Trybe was able to push out a lot of budding talents: Blaise(regarded as one of the tighest femcees, Del (later on known as OlaDELe and is still with Trybe Records), Sasha (With Storm records), Timi (who released an album), Double O(heaven knows where he is), S.I.D (With Mo'Hits) and 2Shotz (well we all remember how he took over Alaba!)
Em, who can spot a head warmerlessRuggedman in there?
DeJossyis a Swedish based Nigerian hip hop act that has in the last few months been raising dust both abroad and back home. Funny thing is that he started out as a footballer but after a series of unfortunate events, he found himself spitting red hot bars!
He recently came back to his motherland and we were the first to get the exclusives from him (Trust us to post that later). He currently runs his entertainment outfit "Crystal Sounds" and also his studio "HallMark Studios" situated in the heart of Lagos.
He recently recorded a track with Mode 9 and Terry da Rapman (first time in history for an emcee to feature both legends) and i must say it's gonna blow when released. He is also working with Fecko, Osagz and super producers E-Twinz.
He recorded some joints back in Sweden and this is my fav. I've been feeling this song since the day it hit my ears:
Pandoras Box is a digital mixtape released via Pop Off Central. Pop Off Central is a relatively new music blog ran by Ayomide Oluwasegun Tayo II, a writer for Hip Hop World Magazine. In its desire to stand out from the plethora of Nigerian music blogs, Pop Off Central decided to release a mixtape that will feature some of Nigeria's most promising young rappers. The mixtape will differ from a lot of rap mixtapes in the sense that the tracks on Pandora's Box will be mainly rap songs and not just mere freestyles.
The highly innovative mixtape will feature rappers such as Osagz, Fecko, Beazy, Willy Bang, Ice Prince, Drenco and others. The mixtape is scheduled to drop on the 15th of March 2010. If you love good rap music then make sure you download Pandora's Box when it drops. Also do visit http://popoffcentral.blogspot.com for the best of Nigerian music and news.
What is a ‘Jayter’, you ask? It’s someone of some importance who for some reason or another can not fathom the thought of Jay-Z succeeding without acknowledging them.
You don’t make it to the top of the rap mountain and not expect an avalanche of naysayers to scream and yell for your demise on the top. But the common bond with most of the Jayters on this list is that they not only had some sort of relationship with Jay at one point or another, but all impatiently await for some sort of full blown reaction from the abnormally calm Jay, which doesn’t seem to happen too often…or does it? Here now are the top Jayters along with Jigga Man’s reaction (or non reaction) on wax. 10. That dude that rolled with Jay is his early days.
We don’t remember his name either, but we do recall him being the one challenger allegedly had dirt on Jay from his early days as a pharmaceutical entrepreneur and and threatened to expose him. What he didn’t have was merit to his claim that…uh…well…we don’t know exactly what he was complaining about, but it may have something to do with Jay not giving him a bit of chee$e to go with his wine. Reaction: “No Hook” off American Gangster 9. Fat Joe
While it was never “officially” taken to wax, it was no secret that these two kings of their respective boroughs with drug dealer pasts never really liked one other. Since Jay’s ascension to the top in the late 90’s, Joe has thrown many a shot, most notable on “King Of NY” off the J.O.S.E album. The early tension came to a head in 1999 when both Roc-A-Fella and Terror Squad crews clashed at New York City’s Club Exit over what witnesses say was the last hot wing on the plate. The incident left one rapper with a bottle over his head, another one with a career in life-support and a tip-less waiter. Reaction: “He Asked For It” (Unreleased) 8. 50 Cent:
Who doesn’t 50 (conveniently) throw shots at? Yet, this one seems to border on genuine resentment between two multi-millionaire MC’s from New York and 50 just being bored and up for a new challenge. What started off as one line on the classic “How to Rob,” has accumulated to 10 years of passive aggressive tension that in 2009 finds 50 playing Don King to Beanie Segal’s Mike Tyson in hopes of getting Jay to, for once, react. Reaction: “It’s Hot” 7. Dame Dash
Everyone knows this one. All Jay wanted was the masters to his first born, Reasonable Doubt. Dame says no. Jay takes a corporate raid-type ownership of Roc-A-Fella and Dame again says no, but in a villain-falling-down-a-bottom-less-pit sort of way. What was looked at by many as a shrewd business move was seen by Dame and his loyalists as sneaky move by Jay to separate himself from the guys who helped him build the Roc. The end result: One of the best executives of his generation is left without a purpose and the other went on to marry Beyonce…and become close friends with the President of the United States…and part owner a of major basketball franchise…and a clothing brand that rakes in millions of dollars a year…and successful sports bar franchise in 3 major cities…and…you get it, right?
6. Cam’Ron/Dip Set When Dame brought Cam on board the Roc-A-Fella ship in 2001 , the house that Jay and Dame built was sailing to dominance as the premier label in rap. When Dame made Cam’ co-captain many on the ship, including Jay, felt a bit sea sick and that’s when shit went over board. Since the break-up of Dame and Jay, the Dip Set cronies have been the vocal pieces for Dames frustration as Cam, Jim and a somewhat reluctant Juelz play hot potato with jabs at Jay. Reaction: “Dig a Hole” off Kingdom Come 5. Tupac Shakur
It seemed that by 1996, a relatively unknown Jay-Z was the heir apparent the late Notorious B.I.G’s throne. With Mr. Wallace being Tupac’s nemesis this prompted Shakur to act on the age old principal: “oh, you with him? Fuck you too!” The alpha and omega of Pac’s tirade was heard on the Machiavelli album and would be used 10 years later as an intro for Nas’ “Ether.” Fortunately for Jay, Pac would succumb to gunshot wounds before Jay had a chance to run retaliate. Reaction: “‘03 Bonnie & Clyde” 4.Prodigy
Seems Prodigy was growing a little tired of Jay’s rise to the top as New York’s numero uno ambassador, so he began pelting the throne with various freestyles and unreleased ditties from the Mobb’s vast catalogue of aggressive tunes. Reaction: “The Take Over” off The Blueprint
3.Jaz -O
Something happened between student and mentor that still goes unexplained till this day. What we do know is that Jaz revisits his saltiness at least once a year via interviews on the internet; turning his opinions on Jay into a viral pity party that has yet to benefit Jaz-O’s plight as a producer, rapper or relevant hip-hop figure in 2010. Reaction:“Do It for Hip Hop” off Ludacris’ Theatre of the Mind and “What We Talkin’ Bout” off BluePrint 3 2.The Game
“Single white female” is the way Jay has described The Game’s sycophantic approach to attacking him. The Game seemed to admire Jay so much that he began to kind of hate him. This emotional imbalance then lead to Game’s not-so-subliminal shots spanning from first album to “My Bitch”, an unreleased gem left on the Doctor’s Advocate cutting room floor. The most recent reach for attention being the less-than-stellar-waste-of-time, “I’m So Wavy” .
Reaction: Hot 97 “Can I Live ” Freestyle (2007) 1.Beanie Segal
How did Jay’s right hand capo, destroyer of Hova haters and one of the most feared MC’s on the planet become the numero uno Jayter? A mixture of business and cough syrup. It seems the NyQuil, along with Beans tendency to shoot it out with other human beings at any given moment, made him a liability to the business minded Hov, who at one point had the chance to let Beans be someone’s else’s case, but who’s ego could not allow 50 Cent to be that someone. Unlike previous Jayters, the Beanie debacle possess somewhat of challenge for Mr. Carter. Beans will not stop until Jay-Z responds and Jay’s lack of response is kind of making Beans upset, which then spawns more Beans attacks at an alarming rate. Reaction: While Jay has yet to respond, we think the songs like “Thank You” and “Already Home” may have struck a nerve on Beans and led to his campaign. Note: Nas does not make this list because the resentment was mutual on both ends and was handled appropriately. Boo-yow! Double Note: Sauce Money, despite being left behind early, never managed to get tangled up in Roc fuckery. Kudos! Source
Sasha might as well be on her comeback game with this remix video to"making money" which features Naeto C and Sauce Kid. We'll be watching.
The original to this came out sometime ago, but i was always curious to see how this one would come out.
Ok, we've heard like a million versions of this jam but it just keep getting better per remake. This video showcases some of the hottest artistes Nigeria has got to export, add Femi Kuti to this list and....Awooo
Fecko has been dropping singles after singles these past few months, all in anticipation to "THE FIRST IMPRESSION MIXTAPE". He done it again and this this time he leaked two new ones, "Overkillin'" a freestyle off "Always Strapped" instrumental (which SauceKid used recently) and "Let's go there" which includes a sample off Wale's "World tour".
The wait would soon be over as "The First Impression (Final Chapter)" drops on 20-03-10. DOWNLOAD Overkillin' Freestyle
Sound Sultan has been very creative when it comes to his videos, we could give props to the director but he also fits in perfectly in the role by blending his style and music all in one piece.
"Koleyewon" was a single of his debut album "Kpheeesw" (did i get that right?) and the video was an all star cameo apperance. It was like a summit of some sort, you had the SWAT ROOT, Plantashun Boiz, Da Trybe, Silver point being well represented, Baba Dee, Azadus and lots more also starring in a "Basket ball" match.Happy Viewing!
If you don't know who Ashionye Ugboh-Raccah is then allow me to welcome you to this part of the world. A former member of the Pop group called "Emete", Sexy Ash (as we love to call her) has always stood out amongst her peers. As you all know, she went solo and dropped an album, had a perfume collection and if I can remember right, got a Pepsi endorsement.
We caught up with the sexy diva sometimes ago and got chit chatting with her, she tell us about her new album and her infamous comparism with pop diva Beyounce Knowles:
RHYMESVILLE: We've heard that your new album has been cooking and it's almost done (what's the name of the album?)
ASHIONYE: Yes,my sophomore album is almost done.Got two singles playing on radio already and I'm getting great reactions. Producers working with me on the album include Carl 'Wolf' Raccah, Tha Suspect, Del B, M.I and Alex Yangs.
I don't have a title for it yet.I have a long list of what i want to call the album but haven't made up my mind yet.
RHYMESVILLE: Guest appearances? (I like that track with M.I!)
ASHIONYE: The album will feature some of Nigeria's talented artists like M.I, Nomoreloss, Banky W, BB, Kel, Pype and Mo' Cheddah.
RHYMESVILLE: People say you are the Nigerian Beyounce.....I feel you guys are just similar (I mean the group, the break-up, the dancing, pepsi endorsement, perfume collection...)....whats your take on it?
ASHIONYE: This comparison was started by the press some years, in my days as a member of 'Emete'. Both bands had 3 female singers and before we knew it,we were being called Nigeria's Destiny's child.
I must say that as much as i respect and admire her drive,passion and all,i'm honestly tired of the comparison. I have been condemned in the past by a lot of people because of this.
It's really a shame that a lot of our artists are always being compared to American artists. If it's not a Nigerian Beyonce, Nigerian Eve or Nigerian Kanye West, it's someone else. You don't hear American compare their artists to ours.
Everything you have listed is just pure coincidence. I'm not trying to be anyone else as assumed. I am Ashionye and that's who i'm trying to be.
RHYMESVILLE: So, apart from your album work, what else have you been up to
ASHIONYE: I have been busy with my new album, featured in two movies(yet to be released) and presentlyfeaturing on the MNET TV series, Tinsel.
The Faculty is a hip-hop rap group of four. Five, Gwan, Grand S.U.N, and Juze. All individual members present a unique lyrical and delivery style.. The group started from a weekly rap battle and open mic show called “Cipher” in ABU Zaria where emcees would come to drop freestyles or written rap. They have been together as The Faculty for only about 15 months but have been friends for over 8 years.
Influences of The Faculty include Saul Williams, KRS One, Mos Def, Talib Kweli, Linkin Park, Fela, Lagbaja, Hugh Masakela, Jill Scott, and India Arie.
They are currently promoting a Pre-Album release CD featuring three (3) singles: “Ice Cream” produced by Tommy Shield, “Off the Ground” produced by Pherowshuz, and “I Don Try”. Pherowshuz has played a key role in the success of the group.
Judged a pioneer in the hip hop scene, Modenine has always kept it burning from tracks to cameos to videos. We would be looking at all his videos, happy viewing:
RECIPE:
Off the unreleased "THE IX FILES", "The Recipe" video showed promise of a vibrant emcee, who spat powerlines. It was all love back then. Cameo appearances from young OD & Terry, Six foot plus, Kaboom, Sound Sultan and yea Ruggedman.
IT'S ABOUT TO GET UGLY:
This very video turned heads and had everybody asking "who the hell is Modenine". It had this aura of deepness in it. Cameos were usual suspects; Terry da Rapman and OD. By the way, Modenine has been on the baggy jeans thingy ever since then!
FORMIDABLE:
Now this is my favorite song and video! I mean, the graffiti is on point, samples and of course the joint was produced by (in my world a legend) G-Lynx. The song is off his "MALCOM IX" Mixtape (my fav modenine material by the way). Like he said "F**k the hunger, I got the thirst". It's kept getting better for Modey.
ELBOW ROOM:
This video came out in the "Channel O" invasion era and i believe also made it to MTV Base. Directed by DJ Tee, the original audio was remade by G-Lynx because the original (Made by Callen a.k.a Jeremiah Gyang) was an uncleared sample. Cameos from Elajoe, RoofTop Mcs, Kage, Big Lo, DJ Humility and others.
360 POETRY:
Off the critically acclaimed "PENTIUM IX" mixtape, Modey tours the streets of a foreign country, dropping knowledge over a B-Elect beat. This was the beginning of the Qmark era.
SPAZMODIC:
Very grimy, very hiphop, sought of reminds you of the WU-Tang clan. This song is undeniably a classic by all standards. The video may not be but we were sure glad to see it! Featuring Terry da Rapman, it looks lik it was shot in an abandoned car lot. Do i see a young Kel there?
CRY:
A master piece i must say; the video set atrend in other videos to come. Modey role plays for the first time and does so as the cemetry gardener (oooh scary innit?). This features R&B songstress Nnena.
NIGERIAN GIRLS:
Modenine shows a softer side with this video directed by a then up and coming video director Clarence Peters. Some say it has similarities with Jay-z's "Girls Girls Girls" video, I think NOT!
HIP HOP:
Off "THE PARADIGM SHIFT" album, Modey takes us back to the realness with this one, all men dressed "Timbs and Hoodies", DJ Jimmy Jatt takes the reigns on the wheels of steel. Cameos from Terry da Rapman, Kraft....
BADMAN:
Off the soon to be released "THE DA VINCI MODE" album, "badman" is the supposed first single off the album and features new kid A1. Was this what we expected when it hit the screens? Not really for me, but the cameos made it worth the watch. All back togther again(well almost all of 'em) OD, Terry, Pheroshwuz and new partner in musical crime Kraft all make the cut with some sexiness from Mo'Chedda.
Recorded on February 1st, 2010, in the same studio as the original 25 years earlier (Henson Recording Studios, formerly A&M Recording Studios) "We Are The World 25 For Haiti", in which Jones and Richie serve as executive producers and producers, was created in collaboration with executive producers Wyclef Jean, Randy Phillips and Peter Tortorici; producers Humberto Gattica and RedOne; and co-producers Rickey Minor, Mervyn Warren and Patti Austin to benefit the Haitian earthquake relief efforts and the rebuilding of Haiti.
Coming into the fourth decade of her career, Sade Adu has become an esoteric figure in the music industry. Since the early 90s she’s shrouded her life from popular culture, leaving her one album per decade average as the main tool for press and fans to speculate on her private dealings and thoughts. Those sparse offerings have delivered some of the best musings on love ever recorded, ranging from unbridled ecstasy (“Couldn’t Love You More”) to wallowing anguish (“King of Sorrow”). With a new decade upon us, Sade returns with another offering from the depths of her soul in Soldier of Love.
“The Moon and the Sky” opens the LP on the theme of unconditional love abused by selfishness. The string arrangements and trudging bass allow Sade’s voice to dominate, and she stretches several notes to accentuate the forlorn disbelief at how her lover abuses her loyalty ("So why did he make me cry?/Why didn’t you come get me one last time?/You let me down….You left me there dying” ).
That damage transitions well to the lead single “Soldier of Love.” The stabbing, aggressive guitar chords and marching drums are a clear break from Sade’s previous work, and give a modern feel sure to catch younger fans not familiar with her work. In the context of the album, it builds on the numbing pain of the opening song, but displays the songstress still determined to persevere (“I’ve lost the use of my heart/But I’m still alive…”).
The only other uptempo track, “Bring Me Home,” ironically contains the strongest lyrics of hopelessness. The despair is punctuated by backing vocals which titter on low mourning wails, and Sade invokes spiritual loss and regret (“I’ve cried for the lives I’ve lost/Like a child in need of love/I’ve been so close but far away from God….I’ve cried the tears so let the tide take me/I won’t fight/I’ve cried the tears.”)
The Sade band, composed of Stuart Colin Matthewman (guitar,sax), Paul Spencer Denman (bass), and Andrew Hale (keyboards), have retained their innate ability to not only seamlessly glide through different music genres, but merge them as needed to support their lead singer’s ethereal voice. “Babyfather” brings street reggae rhythms to support Sade’s celebration of parenthood and first ever collaboration with 13 year old daughter Ila. On “Be That Easy,” the band embraces the blues while Adu ruminates on her life being in freefall, her love remaining as the only tangible, pure facet (“Falling down, flying as slow as I can/I’m not trying to reach the land/Just falling somewhere/It couldn’t be that easy/It had to be much harder/Meanwhile boy, I love you”).
Sade Adu’s lasting appeal has been tied to the uniqueness of her soothing, rich alto vocals. Like previous legends Billie Holiday and Sarah Vaughan, her voice has gotten deeper with age. In her early years, Sade had underrated range (see “Pearls,” Frankie’s First Affair”). The voice is now slightly weaker, but not alarmingly so. The change is only noticeable when the band’s arrangements call for her to hit higher notes, as heard on “Morning Bird.” Perhaps by design, Adu for the majority of Soldier of Love isn’t required to extend or test her vocal limits.
As with all Sade LPs, the ballads are empathetic and overflow with introspection. “In Another Time” features engaging sax and string instrumentation (violin, cello) that will remind longtime fans of the jazz fusion pieces heard on Diamond Life and Promise. The track is another testament to Sade’s exceptional skill as a songwriter, as the lyrics can be interpreted as an ode to her daughter, or words of inspiration to downtrodden women.
“Skin” invokes the album’s strongest imagery as a meditative piece on when self-identity and preservation supersedes love for another. The song is classic Sade, with the singer describing the process of “peeling” and “washing” away the elements of an ex-lover on her psyche. Her phrasing is flawless, working in perfect harmony with her band’s subdued melodies.
The album has an unmistakable feeling of sadness, but ends with optimism on “The Safest Place.” Although the guitar and violin chords maintain a pensive color, Sade’s words show she remains unbroken, alluding to the spiritual warfare detailed in the album’s journey (“My heart’’s been a lonely warrior/Who’s been to war so you can be sure/Your love’s in a sacred place/The safest hiding place.”)
For Sade, Soldier of Love is a work that continues the excellence she’s displayed since her debut 26 years ago. While the greatness that is Love Deluxe is likely untouchable ever again, Sade builds on and exceeds her fine work from 2000’s Lover’s Rock. When it comes to Sade, her extended albums breaks are an example of her dedication to her craft, and the importance she sees in letting life and spirit dictate when it’s time to drop over industry protocols.
It bothers me that we are the most hypocrites for condemning what we are caught up in ourselves. We say to the Nike clad area boy turned rapper, “ that nigger ain’t shit just cus he’s dressed like that don’t mean he’s representing”.
Okay, he’s got an Ibadan accent. Big deal. He writes his own rhymes based on his experiences at the bus parks, complete with tout language and graphic descriptions of scuffles with the uniformed government operatives. For me, that’s real.
To insult your intelligence further, he bursts over a fuji beat and shoots a high profile club scene video with Cristal bottles freely advertised while voluptuous chics wriggle their waists to the frenzied percussions.
Shame on you, me, everybody else, throwing two fingers in the air, or mimicking the West Coast “W” hand salute. Worse still, some have mastered the art of sending Blood signals indicating that they are Crip killers without even realizing it, now that’s HIP HOP?
We’re all victims of neo-imperialism through our radios, tvs and the internet. All right, we love HIP-HOP music, fashion and the sub-culture itself. But with these come the violence, pornography and disregard for instituted authority. These are the things that worry my mummy and did confound my daddy before he passed away, Rest In Peace, Pop.
Still we worsen the situation by propounding untenable theories on what keeping it real should be. If I rap tight in Pidgin, I am dubbed an AFRO HIP HOP Artiste.. Ain’t that a bitch. Afro what? Who was the stoned feller that thought up the most unintelligible excuse for a poor knowledge of HIP-HOP history?
Slash that. Back to the issue, keeping it real is a bogus and vague statement. Imagine a rap group on stage, very intelligent and capable of schooling dudes on a few lessons on what characteristics distinguish rappers from each other being booed off stage by their own constituency. Their offence, the hook, which kicked off the track, was unapologetically rendered in Pidgin. They were not about to rap about subways and 40s or what it was like to layback in a ’64. They just wanted to know who was in the building and introduce themselves as certified MCs who wanted to party.
Some deified self-made gods pulled the plug on their sets and accused them of desecrating HIP HOP… because they rapped in Pidgin.
Now interestingly, the official language (though not written) of the streets in Nigeria is Pidgin. It’s the language between man and wife, parent and child, homies and fresh lovebirds. It is an indication of seamless informality cushioned in trust. It’s what the beggar would use to convince you to part with some change while you’re stuck in traffic. It’s how best the bus conductor can get you to comply quickly with paying your fare. It’s what the roadblock cop would employ in his bid to exalt you before he extorts you (oga, anything for the boys?). It is the language of the streets.
Now if my information does not fail me, most of the rhymes our favourite rap acts spit are accumulations of slang, street talk and philosophy conveyed via grammatical catastrophes cleverly called Ebonics.
Ebonics, the language of the slaves who merged English with their own coined clauses and phrases to connect with each other. Over the years, Ebonics has been recognized as the illiterates’ language. Those who couldn’t read or write, especially among the good folks in the Dirty South built their reputation around Ebonics. The East and West Coast borrowed slangs and made them popular on various rap cuts.
Peep this, we go out of our way to study rhyme techniques and rap styles, very aware of the grammatical dysfunctions and accept them for what they are but turn around to chastise those of our own who love rap just as much but do not share our intellectual capacity. It smacks of outright hypocrisy.
I know a lot of talented rappers that are better at stringing words of various MCs than they are at crafting their own verses. Sometimes they remind me of Lexis and Structure and fill in the gap questions. They find a way to manipulate known verses and fix their names or recognizable nouns in there, somewhere. At the end of the day you get to hear a tight verse, sounds familiar but still reeks of the purveyor’s identity. He may have bitten but in accordance with rhyme and reason, he’s kept it real.
Let’s put a lid on it. No one’s perfect. We all make mistakes. Let’s show some maturity. If he ain’t doing it right, putting him down doesn’t make you upright.
About keeping it real, it’s being able to separate the obvious from the ideal. Accepting the fact that we copy rubbish and because we enjoy our delusion in that rubbish, we should be able to share with our good the bad we must suffer when less informed peops try to copy.
So next time, you see a familiar Mushin tout bragging about his escapades in Brooklyn while chilling with Talib Kweli, eating suya and sipping some kparaga, recognize he’s only imitating what you have imitated though poorly (no thanks to his gruff tone and failure to pronounce words that begin with ‘H’, e.g., happen becomes ‘appoon). Don’t get mad or attempt to get even by strenuously concocting a diss track just to air your singular opinion about what should be. Hell stands a better chance of freezing over than you would get commendable attention for your efforts.
Let’s educate... rather than hate.
HEADZ UP!
Anthony Onwuchekwa is an on-air personality with Radio Continental and Television Continental in Lagos.
This is arguably one of the first beef tracks to drop in Naija. The song was a diss from Tony Tetuila, to his former group members (THE REMEDIES) Eedris Abdulkareem and Eddie Remedy. It was made to understand through the song that Eedris and Eddie were sort kicking him to the background as he played little or no role in their recordings and performances.
He (Tony) hooked up with the Plantashun boiz (who were in music demand as at that period) and Ruff, Rugged and Raw to make this song that set a lot of things into motion and whether you like it or not conveyed hip hop in Nigeria to a particular point.
A*G
John talks about his motivation for singing and how it has changed, banging hot chicks vs. having long, all night conversations with them and which is sexier, how he yearns to be liked, how internet pornography has changed today’s relationships, and of course the best part – his exes, Jennifer Aniston (I’ll always be sorry that it didn’t last. In some ways I wish I could be with her) and Jessica Simpson (she was sexual napalm). Juicy, juicy, juicy! A must read!!
PLAYBOY: Is this the last John Mayer interview?
MAYER: No, though I have fantasies of it. And that doesn’t come out of pretension or laziness. It’s difficult for me to explain my life to someone without sounding like I’m complaining, which I’m not. I have no problem saying I’m in a bit of a strange time in my life.
PLAYBOY: What’s strange about this time in your life?
MAYER: In one way or another, people probably know my name now. I’m squarely nestled in the crosshairs of their criticism and media reproach. I originally played music because I was an underdog, because I didn’t want to be in school, and it always had this quality of an uprising. When you first start out, you want people to know you. There is a quality of the unknown that is very sexy—like thinking, There might be a girl in this crowd who will have a conversation with me because she knows my music. For me, it has never been about fucking lots of girls. I could have fucked a lot more girls in my life if I hadn’t been trying so hard to get them to like me. If I have a conversation with a really hot girl that lasts all night and she says, “Wow, I had no idea I was going to like you this much,” that is the equivalent, for me, of getting laid.
PLAYBOY: So how has that changed?
MAYER: I’m no longer playing music so I can walk into a party and talk to chicks, because people know who I am now. In fact, now I have a sort of negative connotation with that. [laughs] It’s a headache, you know?
PLAYBOY: Meeting girls is a headache? You have to explain that.
MAYER: I hate being the heartbreaker. Hate it. If I date somebody and it doesn’t work out, it’s another nightmare for me. I don’t like the way the odds are stacked. If I date nine more girls before I get married—which I think would be completely appropriate—that would be nine more spats of character assassination. I don’t equate sex with release, I equate it with tension. It’s given me a lot of pause. Somewhere in my brain it has probably really fucked me up.
PLAYBOY: But who cares if people assassinate your character?
MAYER: I do. I just do. I consider myself a good guy, with the best of intentions. Anybody who has been in a relationship with me would stand by the fact that I’ve never been callous. I’ve never been a bad boy. I may have taken someone through the wringer psychologically, but I’ve never been sinister.
PLAYBOY: So you’ve lost the motivation of playing music to meet girls.
MAYER: If I was playing it so I could meet hot chicks, I’ve met hot chicks, quote unquote. If I was playing it to make a ton of money, I’ve made a ton of money. If I was playing it to be well-known, I am well-known. Once you put aside girls and money, it forces you to realign your motivation for being a musician. Now I’m not a have-not but a have. Which is interesting, because music has to come from a have-not sort of place. And there are many places where I have-not.
PLAYBOY: What motivates you now?
MAYER: My motivation is to prove people wrong, to confuse them. I enjoy the challenge—I must be addicted to the challenge. I’ve gone from being a musician to being a celebrity. And when people do that, their work usually suffers. There are tunes on Battle Studies that are more applicable to other people’s lives than anything I’ve ever written before. This whole time I’ve stayed vulnerable, stayed frustrated, stayed confused. This record is the trade-off to having sort of brutalized myself for a few years. So if people see that over the past couple of years I actually got a firmer grip on writing songs about the ups and downs of life, they might go, “How did he have the time to make a record? Was he writing ‘War of My Life’ in the middle of me thinking he was a douche bag? Did I ever actually know him? Maybe he’s a pretty solid guy.”
PLAYBOY: What if you were to google the phrase John Mayer is a douche bag?
MAYER: You’d get a lot of hits. It’s this whole perception thing about tabloids, where 85 percent of the stories are not true. If you align yourself to be exactly who you know you are and to have dignity, maybe through that distorted lens you look askew to everyone else. I’ve done away with feeling aloof and trying to seem suave and bulletproof. I’ve resigned myself to being slightly awkward and goofballish.
PLAYBOY: It seems as though you realize that celebrities who complain don’t generate much sympathy.
MAYER: I have never once said “I wish the press would leave me alone.” With Twitter, I can show my real voice. Here’s me thinking about stuff: “Wouldn’t it be cool if you could download food?” It has been important for me to keep communicating, even when magazines were calling me a rat and saying I was writing a book.
PLAYBOY: Who did that?
MAYER: Star magazine at one point said I was writing a tell-all book for $10 million. On Star’s cover it said what a rat! My entire life I’ve tried to be a nice guy. The best I ever felt was when friends’ parents would say, “John can come over any time. We love that kid.” When I date a girl and find out her friends approve of me, I love it. I love being liked! I’ve given microscopic dedication to doing the right thing, taking the high road, and all of a sudden Star magazine says, “He’s a rat.” I can’t tell you it didn’t give me that much more bloodlust to do what people thought I couldn’t do.
PLAYBOY: It sounds simple, but it’s not: Battle Studies is an album about love.
MAYER: Sure. It’s an album about love in this day and age, and at my age, 32.
PLAYBOY: What do you mean by “in this day and age”? There aren’t any references in the songs that would have been unclear 20 years ago.
MAYER: I’m a self-soother. The Internet, DVR, Netflix, Twitter—all these things are moments in time throughout your day when you’re able to soothe yourself. We have an autonomy of comfort and pleasure. By the way, pornography? It’s a new synaptic pathway. You wake up in the morning, open a thumbnail page, and it leads to a Pandora’s box of visuals. There have probably been days when I saw 300 vaginas before I got out of bed.
PLAYBOY: What’s your point about porn and relationships?
MAYER: Internet pornography has absolutely changed my generation’s expectations. How could you be constantly synthesizing an orgasm based on dozens of shots? You’re looking for the one photo out of 100 you swear is going to be the one you finish to, and you still don’t finish. Twenty seconds ago you thought that photo was the hottest thing you ever saw, but you throw it back and continue your shot hunt and continue to make yourself late for work. How does that not affect the psychology of having a relationship with somebody? It’s got to.
PLAYBOY: You seem very fond of pornography.
MAYER: When I watch porn, if it’s not hot enough, I’ll make up backstories in my mind. My biggest dream is to write pornography.
PLAYBOY: How did you become a self-soother?
MAYER: I grew up in my own head. As soon as I lose that control, once I have to deal with someone else’s desires, I cut and run. I’m pretty culpable about being hard to live with. I have had a good run of imagining things into reality. I’ve got a huge streak of successes based on my own inventions. If you tell me I’m wrong or that I’m overthinking something, well, overthinking has given me everything in my career. I have a hard time not looking at anxiety disorder as being like an ATM. I can invent things really well. I mean, I have unbelievable orgasms alone. They’re always the best. They always end the way I want them to end. And I have such an ability to make believe, I can almost project something onto my wall, watch it and get off to it: sexually, musically, it doesn’t matter. When I meet somebody, I’m in a situation in which I can’t run it because another person is involved. That means letting someone else talk, not waiting for them to remind you of something interesting you had in mind.
PLAYBOY: Masturbation for you is as good as sex?
MAYER: Absolutely, because during sex, I’m just going to run a filmstrip. I’m still masturbating. That’s what you do when you’re 30, 31, 32. This is my problem now: Rather than meet somebody new, I would rather go home and replay the amazing experiences I’ve already had.
PLAYBOY: You’d rather jerk off to an ex-girlfriend than meet someone new?
MAYER: Yeah. What that explains is that I’m more comfortable in my imagination than I am in actual human discovery. The best days of my life are when I’ve dreamed about a sexual encounter with someone I’ve already been with. When that happens, I cannot lay off myself.
PLAYBOY: There are some angry, accusatory songs on the record, but there are also self-critical songs. It goes through all the changing moods you have on the worst night of your life.
MAYER: Yeah, Battle Studies is that feeling between 10 p.m. and two a.m. when you have this wild level of arousal and optimism. It’s about the things people do to each other during those hours. I have wasted four hours of my life refusing to masturbate and believing that somehow the phone would ring and I’d get a call from somebody I hadn’t talked to in years.
PLAYBOY: The phone will ring and your life will change?
MAYER: Yeah. It’s like looking for a fix. I’ll spend four hours not even putting anything into motion, just believing somehow it’s going to come my way.
PLAYBOY: You talked before about being an underdog. What were you like at 16?
MAYER: I wasn’t paying attention in school. I would come home and play guitar, playing for all the moments I had that day when I couldn’t feel alive. I visualized I was a superhero with an alter ego: “By day, a gawky, zitfaced 16-year-old boy.…” I would sleep with my guitar because I thought it would make me play better. I had a 100-disc CD player in the basement, and I would load it up with Charlie Parker, John Coltrane, Miles Davis, Kenny Burrell and Bill Evans and play CDs while I slept on the floor. Like somehow, by osmosis, the music was getting into me. It was the only way I could build enough armor to go back to school the next day.
PLAYBOY: How many hours a day were you playing?
MAYER: Three to four hours a day when I was in school, and in the summertime five to six hours a day. I wasn’t smoking cigarettes or drinking, and I wasn’t trying to hook up. I wasn’t going to parties. I remember being in my room when there was a party across town, sitting in my room and pretending I was at the party and playing for them. I remember saying to myself, If I have to sleep on a pool table every night on tour, I’ll do it. I always had that desire to be a rock star.
PLAYBOY: Were you one of those smart kids who hated school?
MAYER: I would act up and get sent to the dean’s office and talk to him as though I was an adult. “I’m not trying to upset anybody, sir. With all due respect to you and your staff, I’m just not supposed to be here. It’s quite difficult for me to sit in class, because I’m supposed to be a guitar player, sir.” I was very cocky. But from the outset, there was opposition. My parents were not the biggest fans, to put it diplomatically. I grew up saying, “You’ll see. I can’t explain it yet, but you’ll see.” Early in my career, when I was 19 or 20, I’d meet presidents of record companies and refused to give them my demos. I’d say, “We’ll see each other again sometime.”
PLAYBOY: That is really cocky.
MAYER: It was incredibly cocky. I was so tempered in opposition that when the opposition went away, I started to look like a total asshole. When my first record came out, I was still saying, “You’ll see. Check out what I did. Eat it.” It gave me this reputation for being really arrogant. I probably should have stood on top of a roof and yelled, “Fuck you!” That “I’ll show you” instinct is still alive and well. Now, instead of “We don’t think you can do it,” it’s “We think you’re a douche bag.”
PLAYBOY: Do you still have a chip on your shoulder?
MAYER: Yep. I have an extremely tall antenna that reaches high into the sky and brings in a lot of cool stuff but also a lot of unnecessary stuff. If I hadn’t had my upbringing, I would have probably been like, “Yeah, this is fun. Cool.” But right now I still have “See? See, motherfucker?”
PLAYBOY: You put in a lot of hours playing the guitar, but it also seems you were quick to pick up music theory, harmony, composition.
MAYER: I’m wired for it. I’m lucky I found a thing I was wired for, and I found it at 13. I’ve already won one of the biggest gambles of all time, which was to forgo an education so I could pursue a real all-or-none scenario. I look pretty fucking smart for having done that, though it doesn’t change the fact that it was crazy.
PLAYBOY: You have a level of self-consciousness that seems like it could be exhausting.
MAYER: Maybe that’s the douche bag part of it. Maybe I’m so meta-aware that it’s off-putting to people. But I’m old enough to know I need to change. I’m getting tired of the illusion of control. I think I’ve made my best record now, at my lowest point of confidence.
PLAYBOY: You wanted to become a rock star, and now that you are one, it’s ruined your confidence? That’s odd.
MAYER: Lately I’ve realized it’s okay to enjoy being a rock star. Like, it might actually be fun to wear sunglasses in the airport and sit in the first-class lounge as a fucking rock star who’s about to go on a world tour. I had related it to something so painful, so frustrating, so confusing, that it would give me a tension headache. Being a famous musician seemed to have brought misunderstanding and strife and a fist in the back of the head when I read something about myself. I wrote this line yesterday: “Someday soon these will just be things we used to do.” I’m sort of making a list of all the things I know I’m going to laugh at myself for taking so seriously.
PLAYBOY: So you can already imagine your future?
MAYER: This is going to sound odd, but sometimes I meet the 40-year-old me and say, “What do I do?” And 40-year-old me says, “Don’t do every scheduled interview. Go to the zoo instead. You’re going to be fine, you knucklehead. Stop overthinking what people say.” I’m trying to fold over time, to see it as a random-access hard disk where I can move to any point in time and change the way I see today.
PLAYBOY: What you describe sounds like a conversation between a father and a son. Can you talk like that with your dad?
MAYER: My dad is 82. I love him so much, but the way I communicate with him is by fixing his printer or the closed-captioning on his TV. These are the bonding moments we have.
PLAYBOY: Did kids make fun of the fact that your dad is almost 20 years older than your mom?
MAYER: No, they’d just say, “Your grandfather’s here.”
PLAYBOY: Is your heritage Jewish?
MAYER: I’m half Jewish. People say, “Well, which side of your family is Jewish?” I say, “My dad’s.” And they always say it doesn’t count. But I will say I keep my pool at 92 degrees, so you do the math. I find myself relating to Judaism. One of my best friends is Jewish beyond all Jews—I went to my first Passover seder at his house—and I train in Krav Maga with a lot of Israelis.
PLAYBOY: You said there are still things you don’t have. What are those things?
MAYER: I could make anybody understand that my life is not all rainbows and unicorns, but why would I want to? I’m sort of selling them the idea that it’s rainbows and unicorns. I could explain that, in fact, I’m not a douche bag, but that would be at the expense of believing in magic. I don’t want to tear down the facade. People want to imagine that if they get a record deal, they can buy a Ferrari. People need that. I don’t want to take that away from people. Anything I don’t have is a direct descendant of the things I do have. I mean, let’s say there’s a 12 percent chance I’ll never marry and have kids because the music career fucked me in some way. If that’s the case, I still know it’s my calling. I hold out hope that there’s a way to be a supernatural being onstage and an extremely natural being at home.
PLAYBOY: Why are you so anxious about never getting married?
MAYER: What if I meet a woman and it’s love at first sight, and this woman has the greatest night of her life by telling me to fuck off because she knows my reputation? I always say, “Turning me down is the new sleeping with me.” What is a guy supposed to say to a girl who says “You do this all the time”? Girls always say that. Sometimes they say “I’ve been warned about you.” But I can undo that in a couple of days. I have a line for that: “Keep your warning for a while; let’s take it slow.”
PLAYBOY: Were you one of those people who thought fame would be rainbows and unicorns?
MAYER: I had a conversation about fame with Jen [Aniston] before we ever really stepped out in public. She said, “Do you understand what this entails?” Two weeks later I had people outside my house. I was smart enough to know it would probably make me a salable item for the paparazzi. I knew I’d have to move to a home that had a gate. But that pearl of possibility that lives in your heart when you meet somebody you want to know more about has such a different molecular density than everything else that you have to pursue it. And I wouldn’t undo it, man. Because if it had worked out, I would have reaped the benefits. I would be sitting here saying, “What I have when I go home is the thing I’ve always wanted.”
PLAYBOY: Has Jen heard Battle Studies?
MAYER: Yes. I played it for her as the record was being made.
PLAYBOY: What did she say?
MAYER: Look, there’s a level of honesty in that record that probably made her uncomfortable, but I couldn’t let that change the way I wrote songs. There were moments when she said, “What’s that line?” Like, “That’s not about me, is it?” While I was going out with her she was on the cover of GQ wearing nothing but a tie. These are occupational hazards. When she heard Battle Studies she just wanted to be able to say “I want to know that you hold me correctly in your heart.”
PLAYBOY: What percentage of the album is about Aniston?
MAYER: I don’t want to say. I feel bad because people think “Heartbreak Warfare” is about her. I want to go on record saying it’s not. That woman would never use heartbreak warfare. That woman was the most communicative, sweetest, kindest person. When people hear the record, I hope the songs make them think about their lives, not my life. Like, when you listen to Coldplay, do you think about Gwyneth Paltrow? I don’t write songs in order to stick it to my exes. I don’t release underground dis tracks. [laughs]
PLAYBOY: You’ve rarely talked about Aniston. She has rarely talked about you.
MAYER: We just have a regard for each other’s feelings that is pretty intense. It’s been a deep relationship, and it’s no longer taking place at all. Have you ever loved somebody, loved her completely, but had to end the relationship for life reasons?
PLAYBOY: Did you send Aniston a copy of the CD after it was done?
MAYER: No.
PLAYBOY: Maybe she’ll download it from BitTorrent.
MAYER: If Jennifer Aniston knows how to use BitTorrent I’ll eat my fucking shoe. One of the most significant differences between us was that I was tweeting. There was a rumor that I had been dumped because I was tweeting too much. That wasn’t it, but that was a big difference. The brunt of her success came before TMZ and Twitter. I think she’s still hoping it goes back to 1998. She saw my involvement in technology as courting distraction. And I always said, “These are the new rules.”
PLAYBOY: You mean the rules of celebrity have changed since Friends made her a star?
MAYER: I said, “Tom Cruise put on a fat suit.” That pretty much sums up the past decade: Tom Cruise with a comb-over, dancing to Flo Rida in Tropic Thunder. And the world went, “Welcome back, Tom Cruise.”
PLAYBOY: What’s the moral there?
MAYER: You have to show that you don’t take yourself seriously. Once you do that, people will say you’re cool: “You know what? I gotta say I never liked him until he made fun of himself, and now I like him.”
PLAYBOY: If you didn’t know you, would you think you’re a douche bag?
MAYER: It depends on what I picked up. My two biggest hits are “Your Body Is a Wonderland” and “Daughters.” If you think those songs are pandering, then you’ll think I’m a douche bag. It’s like I come on very strong. I am a very…I’m just very. V-E-R-Y. And if you can’t handle very, then I’m a douche bag. But I think the world needs a little very. That’s why black people love me.
PLAYBOY: Because you’re very?
MAYER: Someone asked me the other day, “What does it feel like now to have a hood pass?” And by the way, it’s sort of a contradiction in terms, because if you really had a hood pass, you could call it a nigger pass. Why are you pulling a punch and calling it a hood pass if you really have a hood pass? But I said, “I can’t really have a hood pass. I’ve never walked into a restaurant, asked for a table and been told, ‘We’re full.’"
PLAYBOY: It is true; a lot of rappers love you. You recorded with Common and Kanye West, played live with Jay-Z.
MAYER: What is being black? It’s making the most of your life, not taking a single moment for granted. Taking something that’s seen as a struggle and making it work for you, or you’ll die inside. Not to say that my struggle is like the collective struggle of black America. But maybe my struggle is similar to one black dude’s.
PLAYBOY: Do black women throw themselves at you?
MAYER: I don’t think I open myself to it. My dick is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a fuckin’ David Duke cock. I’m going to start dating separately from my dick.
PLAYBOY: Let’s put some names out there. Let’s get specific.
MAYER: I always thought Holly Robinson Peete was gorgeous. Every white dude loved Hilary from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. And Kerry Washington. She’s superhot, and she’s also white-girl crazy. Kerry Washington would break your heart like a white girl. Just all of a sudden she’d be like, “Yeah, I sucked his dick. Whatever.” And you’d be like, “What? We weren’t talking about that.” That’s what “Heartbreak Warfare” is all about, when a girl uses jealousy as a tactic.
PLAYBOY: You said that song isn’t about Aniston. Why is it important for people to know that?
MAYER: I’m very protective of Jen.
PLAYBOY: Do you still love her?
MAYER: Yes, always. I’ll always be sorry that it didn’t last. In some ways I wish I could be with her. But I can’t change the fact that I need to be 32
PLAYBOY: Last June she was given an award from Women in Film. In her acceptance speech she pointed out that the titles of her films closely parallel her private life. Then she asked if anyone in the audience had “a project titled Everlasting Love With an Adult, Stable Male.” It seems as if she was referring to you.
MAYER: I imagine I’ve got something to do with that. Parts of me aren’t 32. My ability to go deep with somebody is old soul. My ability to commit and be faithful is old soul. But 32 just comes roaring out of me at points when I don’t see it coming. I want to dance. I want to get on an airplane and be like a ninja. I want to be an explorer. I want to be like The Bourne Identity. I don’t want to pet dogs in the kitchen.
PLAYBOY: That’s not so weird for a 32-year-old.
MAYER: Right. For a long time I was asking, “What’s wrong with me?” I spent hundreds and hundreds of dollars on therapy for people to say, “Nothing is wrong.” I had seen splitting up with her as akin to burning an American flag. Do you know what I mean? I considered myself a villain.
PLAYBOY: How did you feel like a villain?
MAYER: I felt as though I’d done something wrong and was going to be punished for it. When the media picked up on it, it was the worst fucking week of my life. I found notes at my front desk: “I work for Us Weekly; I’d like to talk to you.” I’m working out at the gym, and next to me on the elliptical trainer I see a woman I think already approached me and said she was with In Touch. But wouldn’t that be paranoid to think? I’m going insane. I haven’t slept. I’m about to go blind—you know the phrase blind rage? All I can remember is that I was about to lose my vision. My emotional tissue was about to tear. So after I left the gym I said “Come here” to all the reporters and paparazzi. I was on the verge of crying and also on the verge of punching someone.
PLAYBOY: This was August 2008, when you said you had ended the relationship “because I don’t want to waste somebody’s time if something’s not right.”
MAYER: It really, really upset her. I wanted to take responsibility for having ended it because I saw it as such an offense. But a lot of people felt I was saving face. This would serve to begin the period of my life I’m just exiting, when love made me feel guilty and people called me a rat, a womanizer and a cad.
PLAYBOY: You’ve also been called a man-whore.
MAYER: I feel like women are getting their comeuppance against men now. I hear about man-whores more than I hear about whores. When women are whorish, they’re owning their sexuality. When men are whorish, they’re disgusting beasts. I think they’re paying us back for a double standard that’s lasted for a hundred years.
PLAYBOY: What does the word womanizer mean to you?
MAYER: Well, wouldn’t a womanizer have dated more than two girls in two years?
PLAYBOY: You and Aniston got back together and broke up again in 2009. How many women did you sleep with in the eight months after the breakup?
MAYER: I’m going to say four or five. No more.
PLAYBOY: That’s a reasonable number.
MAYER: But even if I said 12, that’s a reasonable number. So is 15. Here’s the thing: I get less ass now than I did when I was in a local band. Because now I don’t like jumping through hoops. It’s been so long since I’ve taken a random girl home. I don’t want to have to submit myself for approval. I don’t want to audition. I’d rather come home and edge my shit out for 90 minutes. At this point, before I can have sex I need to know somebody. Unless she’s a 14 out of 10.
PLAYBOY: You have been very up front about your fondness for masturbation.
MAYER: It’s like a vacation—my brain gets to go free. It’s a walk in the park for my brain. Pull the shades and let your mind go without having to answer for it.
PLAYBOY: The way you talk about being 32 sounds as though you were too immature for Aniston.
MAYER: No, the actual day-to-day was fantastic. I have to explain this so people don’t say, “Sure, you’re 32, and you want to fuck other chicks.” If you say I’m not adult and stable, it sounds as though I’m someone who’s watching football and playing Xbox. I have this bond with infinite possibility—when I go out to dinner, I bring another shirt, a flashlight, a knife, a hard drive, a camera. It’s not like I wanted to be with somebody else. I want to be with myself, still, and lie in bed only with the infinite unknown. That’s 32, man.
PLAYBOY: In 2006 you began dating Jessica Simpson, and the paparazzi started stalking you, turning you into a tabloid fixture. Certainly you knew that was going to happen.
MAYER: It wasn’t as direct as me saying “I now make the choice to bring the paparazzi into my life.” I really said, “I now make the choice to sleep with Jessica Simpson.” That was stronger than my desire to stay out of the paparazzi’s eye. That girl, for me, is a drug. And drugs aren’t good for you if you do lots of them. Yeah, that girl is like crack cocaine to me.
PLAYBOY: You were addicted to Jessica Simpson?
MAYER: Sexually it was crazy. That’s all I’ll say. It was like napalm, sexual napalm.
PLAYBOY: But before you dated her you thought of yourself as the kind of guy who would never date Jessica Simpson.
MAYER: That’s correct. There are people in the world who have the power to change our values. Have you ever been with a girl who made you want to quit the rest of your life? Did youever say, “I want to quit my life and just fuckin’ snort you? If you charged me $10,000 to fuck you, I would start selling all my shit just to keep fucking you.”
PLAYBOY: So at this point—
MAYER: Pardon me for interrupting. I love Jen so much that I’m now thinking about how bad I would feel if she read this and was like, “Why are you putting me in an article where you’re talking about someone else? I don’t want to be in your lineage of kiss-and-tells.”
PLAYBOY: At this point, what’s your ideal relationship?
MAYER: Here’s what I really want to do at 32: fuck a girl and then, as she’s sleeping in bed, make breakfast for her. So she’s like, “What? You gave me five vaginal orgasms last night, and you’re making me a spinach omelet? You are the shit!” So she says, “I love this guy.” I say, “I love this girl loving me.” And then we have a problem. Because that entails instant relationship. I’m already playing house. And when I lose interest she’s going to say, “Why would you do that if you didn’t want to stick with me?”
PLAYBOY: Why do you do it?
MAYER: Because I want to show her I’m not like every other guy. Because I hate other men. When I’m fucking you, I’m trying to fuck every man who’s ever fucked you, but in his ass, so you’ll say “No one’s ever done that to me in bed.”
PLAYBOY: Do you do something different in bed than other guys?
MAYER: It’s all about geometry. I’m sort of a scientist; it’s about being obtuse with an angle. It’s sort of this weird up-and-over thing. You gotta think “up and over.”
PLAYBOY: Maybe that’s easier at your height. You talked about listening to Miles Davis and Bill Evans in high school, but that’s not the kind of music you make.
MAYER: I make mainstream music. I don’t believe in guilty pleasures; I believe in pleasures. I know where I stand when I hear Miley Cyrus’s “Party in the USA” or “The Climb”—which may be the best pop song of the past year.
PLAYBOY: It’s a little surprising that you like Miley Cyrus so much.
MAYER: I took a friend and his kids to see Miley Cyrus in Vegas. After the show I said to her, “That was fantastic. Fantastic.” I said, “Take $100,000, put it in a shoe box and bury it in your backyard.” I walked away thinking, That may be the strangest thing I’ve ever said. It just means put a little away. Have something nobody can ever take away from you.
PLAYBOY: Keep a secret fund in case you wake up at three a.m. thinking, Screw this, and you need to disappear?
MAYER: Exactly. That’s what I do with my blackjack winnings—I keep them safe and sound.
PLAYBOY: Among the things we’ve read about you online is this: You’re gay. Have you ever kissed a man?
MAYER: The only man I’ve kissed is Perez Hilton. It was New Year’s Eve and I decided to go out and destroy myself. I was dating Jessica at the time, and I remember seeing Perez Hilton flitting about this club and acting as though he had just invented homosexuality. All of a sudden I thought, I can outgay this guy right now. I grabbed him and gave him the dirtiest, tongue-iest kiss I have ever put on anybody—almost as if I hated fags. I don’t think my mouth was even touching when I was tongue kissing him, that’s how disgusting this kiss was. I’m a little ashamed. I think it lasted about half a minute. I really think it went on too long.
PLAYBOY: Perez describes you on his site as a womanizer, a word you don’t like. Is it fair to say you have a love-hate relationship with him?
MAYER: I used to. Now I believe we’re fully into fighting with breakaway chairs. I think he’s pretty much inert at this point. Perez is to hating as Richard Simmons is to health and well-being. [laughs] You can print that. Perez is so authentically off his rocker he will not let you finish a sentence. I think he has some dark things in his past. I think he comes from a little bit of hurt, and I say that with an understated tone. At the end of the day I go to his site, but I don’t see him as a threat. The impact of his tone is beginning to wane. I give a lot more credit to Harvey Levin at TMZ.
PLAYBOY: Would you kiss Harvey Levin?
MAYER: I would rim him, probably. I can’t just repeat the kissing trick.
PLAYBOY: From following your Twitter feed we’ve learned about many of your interests. For instance, you love the Toto Washlet bidet.
MAYER: God, I want one.
PLAYBOY: But you already have platinum records and stardom.
MAYER: A platinum record is not going to wash your ass for you.
PLAYBOY: Good point. A Washlet isn’t that expensive. Why don’t you have one?
MAYER: It speaks to my level of transience. I’ll get a Washlet when I finally find a shitter I’m going to be at for a good block of time in my life. [laughs] I’m really going to enjoy that. That’s what is waiting for me on the other end of this crazy rocket ride—a warm seat and an adjustable bidet.
PLAYBOY: You said you were just exiting the phase of your life when relationships make you feel guilty. What’s the next phase?
MAYER: People are lining up around the block right now to watch me play music tonight. If some kid called me a douche bag on his terrible blog, I don’t really care. I’m letting myself out of my own prison. I’m not going to be a prisoner to a warden I can’t see. From now on I’m just going to pretend that people really dig the shit out of me. I’ve been so afraid of rocking the boat that I’m not sailing anywhere. I’ve been trying to prove to people I’m not a douche bag by not dating, by keeping my name out of Us Weekly. That’s fucked up, man. I’m not dating. I’m not even fucking. So now I’m going to experiment with “fuck you.” In 2010 my goal is to get more mentions in Us Weekly than ever.
New Music : Suspect – You Dey Mad Ft Tha Suspect
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LMFAO, excuse me. So if we listen to this song that means we are Mad Abi?
Bros Suspect You do Well. He just knows how to entertain us, he should
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XTsamurai – ‘Shine In My Light’
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XTsamurai traces his foray into music to a musical family. Growing up with
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*Our in-house critic gives us his view in M.I's latest song, 7 Days.*
The Name M.I is not new to any follower of Nigerian Hip Hop music. In fact,
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The energetic music duo MamuZEE TwiNs ( Anthonio Akpos Dixon and Andre
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